October
by AngelicPyro
Summary: Sarah likes to stir up trouble, and has a history with Jeff Hardy. And Mark Calaway. And Glen Jacobs. This is her story.
1. Welcome Back

**Hello everybody. - My name is.. unimportant, and I'm your author for this evening, afternoon, morning, whatever time it is where you're at as you're reading this. This is, in truth, a sequel to my first story, A Whole New World. But, assuming I do my job correctly, it should stand on its own as well. If you want to read the first one, it's in my profile, naturally. Also, all of my IM info is there, should any of you want to add me or things of that nature. As usual, I don't own anything. Other than Sarah, and another.. smaller character you shall be introduced to soon, of course. They're my own creation, based off of people I know, so I guess I don't even really own them. Either way, on with the story. I apologize in advance for how much it kinda sucks. -**

May 16, 2005. Omaha, Nebraska. **(AN: MY HOMETOWN, WOOT!)**

Glenn Jacobssat in his locker room, reading a note that he's read hundreds of times. Staring a picture he's stared at till it was burned into his brain.

"Who's that?" an annoying voice asked from over his shoulder. Turning slowly, he saw ChrisJericho, one of few people who truly annoyed him.

"None of your business," Glenn mumbled, not wanting to share anything with the blonde.

"Sheesh, I was just wondering 'cause I thought I saw her coming into the building earlier. Except she didn't have pink hair. It's like, blackish-brown. Might not be the same girl," Chris explained, before walking out.

Glenn felt hope swell up inside of him. He hadn't seen Sarah in two years now. She'd departed, quite abruptly, from a hotel they'd been staying in. All she'd left was a note for him and KevinNash. Her stepfather, mother, and new found friendhad been left clueless, as the notes had asked for the two men not to mention them to anyone. Mark had been stricken with guilt. Still was, as far as Glenn knew. It only got worse when Sarah's prediciton of her mother cheating had proven to be true. Mark's divorce was to be finalized soon. Norah wouldn't get anything, seeing as Mark had proof she'd been unfaithful, thereby nullifying any possible pre-nuptual agreements they may have had. Glenn thought it served the both of them right.

"Penny for your thoughts?" a soft, familiar, feminine voice breathed next to his ear. Glenn jumped and spun around, causing the woman to jump back slightly. She smiled brightly as she saw the recognition spread across the man's face.

"Glad to see I'm remembered by at least one person," she said, before giggling slightly. Glenn took a moment to look her over. Same build, nothing had changed. No new piercings, just her tongue, lip, belly button and ears. She still had the tattoo Jeff had bought her for her birthday oh so long ago. She was wearing a shirt that showed almost nothing, so he couldn't tell if she'd gotten any new ones. A pair of thick plastic-framed glasses sat perched on her nose, and she looked wise beyond her years. She'd left the bright pink hair behind, instead opting for what he was assuming was her natural color. It matched her eyebrows. It was thick, curly, and a very dark shade of brown, traveling almost half way down her back.

"I don't think anyone that's met you could ever forget you, Sarah. How'd you get back here?" he murmured, shock preventing him from moving. She smiled again, then crouched down and hugged him. He responded, feeling an odd mixture of relief and happiness.

"I can be pretty persuasive if need be. I've missed you, and I'm sorry for disappearing like I did. Um.. there's someone I want you to meet," looking nervous, she poked her head out the door. He heard her mumble thanks to someone, before she popped back in with a small child in her arms. The child couldn't have been more than halfa year old.

"This is Kali, my daughter,"

* * *

1,500 miles (or so)away, Jeff Hardy sat in the living room of his home. His girlfriend, Beth, satin front of him, leaning against the front of his legs. His thoughts, too, were centering on a certain pink-haired girl who had disappeared two years ago. He heard his front door open, and Matt's voice as his brother walked into the living room. Beth stood up to hug him in greeting, Jeff chose to remain sitting. Matt was the only person who knew about Sarah. He knew everything about her. Including the date she'd disappeared. Matt would understand. That was probably why he was here.

"Hey Beth? I need a really, really big favor. A friend of mine flew in a couple days ago, and needs someone to show her around town. I figured you'd be a better person than me, because you know all the shopping spots to hit, and such," Matt pleaded with the woman. Jeff's suspicions turned out to be right. Beth, always the type that was up for shopping, nodded and took off in search of her shoes. Matt plopped down on the couch next to his little brother, and waited patiently. Beth came flying down the stairs not too long afterwards, and Matt explained that the "friend" was waiting at his house. Sitting in silence until they were both sure she was gone, and would be gone for a while, Jeff played with a throw pillow from the couch.

"You ok?" Matt questioned, seeing the younger man's vacant stare, "It's been two years now, hasn't it?"

Jeff nodded, feeling an odd sense of displacement rise up within him.

"I'm.. no, I'm not ok. I want to know what drove her away. I want to know why she left notes for Kevin and Glenn, but not me. I.. I just want answers. I want to know why she's stayed away this long. I want to know what she's been doing. I just want this mystery solved, dammit," he exploded, jumping up and pacing. Matt watched him as he would a mildly interesting television program.

"You really cared about her, didn't you?" he asked softly, after Jeff had calmed down a bit. Matt knew everything there was to know about Sarah. What he didn't know, however, was what feeling his little brother may have had for her, and vice versa. He would never address that topic.

"I would have given up everything in the world to keep her happy, and to keep her close to me. Instead, I wound up driving her away with one stupid, horribly timed comment," Jeff replied, slowly slinking down to his floor. As he put his head in his hands, and tugged on his hair, Matt felt sadness begin to form in the pits of his stomach. His little brother had began to lose the passion he'd had for life after her disappearance. It showed to anyone who looked close enough.

"We'll find her Jeff. I promise. I'll do everything I can to help, I swear it. We'll find her."


	2. Just A Bit of Explaining

**Sorry, sorry, sorry. I know it's been a while. Just.. been a long couple weeks, lol. And just to state this now.. that shot at Matt was BULLSHIT! Back to your regularly scheduled programming.**

Glenn surveyed the young woman, and the little girl.

"Can't be your kid. She has blonde hair and light eyes, and even with your momma's genetics, it's not strong enough to give you a totally light child," Glenn stated, narrowing his eyes slightly.

And indeed, the child had almost-white blonde hair, and eyes the color of the sky after a rainstorm. Sarah looked slightly shocked, then mildly impressed.

"Impressive big man. Most people don't even stop to consider that. They just accept what I say, which is a wise move on their part. K, the real story then. To begin with, Junior isn't my only sibling. I have a few younger sisters from other random stepfathers. A 10 year old that lives in.. somewhere on the east coast. Then there's a 12 year old somewhere down south. Couple others that haven't hit the double digits. Somehow, my mother always winds up with the man's money, while he gets custody of the child.. well, other than with me, of course. Oh, and I'm her only dark child too. Makes family gatherings a bitch.

But anyway, the biological mother of Kali is.. was, rather.. a 15 year old girl from Omaha, Nebraska. Beautiful girl was she. Both her parents had light eyes and light hair. My mother, and the man she married that was from here. So, naturally, she came out blonde haired and blue eyed. Her name was.. Lucy. Horrible name for such a beauty, if you ask me. Too plain. Either way, she made a mistake one night. She got a little bit tipsy at a party.. and let's just say the cutest guy at her school took advantage of that.."

Pain and anger flashed across Sarah's face dangerously. Glenn wouldn't have messed with her if his life had depended upon it after this tale was retold.

"She got pregnant. Only guy she'd ever slept with. Naturally, he denied it as much as he'd deny a murder. Sadly enough, as much as she began to love this child and cherish it, her doctor told her that either she, or the baby would die in the birthing process. Her best bet would be to abort. But she didn't. And she did pay, with her life. The baby came out fine, as you can see, but Lucy.. she bled to death before doctors could stop it. And how do I know all this..? I was there. From the beginning to the end. I was at the party, and did my damnedest to keep the beginning from happening, but I couldn't. So I vowed to support her in everything from then on out. When she asked me to raise her daughter for her, I had no choice but to say yes. So, here I am, locked in a custody battle with the bastard that raped my little sister, then ditched her. And as it stands right now, I'm going to lose Kali. Final court date is in a week. I figured I might as well introduce her to everyone my mother knew, see if word would get around that she has a granddaughter. Not that she'll care, or anything.."

A bitter tear rolled down Sarah's cheek, before she carefully sat down on the floor, cradling the small person.

* * *

Jeff sat in his living room, still with his brother, absently strumming on his guitar. 

"What do you think she's been up to all this time?" he asked, knowing that his brother was the last person to question on this topic.

"You knew her better than me.. I think you can answer that on your own," Matt said gently, "And anyway, I have to go. You're going to be watching RAW like you always do, for whatever crazy reason, and I don't particularly want to see Amy, especially since rumor has it they're going to work the.. situation into storylines."

Both men stood and briefly embraced, then said their goodbyes.

"Don't spend too much time wondering, Jeff.. you'll get lost in your own world, and Beth will know something's up. She won't be out for much longer," the older of the two warned. Jeff knew better than to not heed it, so he tried to stay on earth. Unfortunately, as it's Jeff, it didn't work.

"Did she fall in love, get married, have a baby? Get addicted to drugs, because something finally broke her? Is she just as beautiful, as unique as she was when she stole my attention? Did she go plain, because she had to get a corporate job? Is she still as loud, and as opinionated, or did she pull even further into that shell?" Jeff mused to himself, before slapping himself in the forehead. He'd asked himself these questions a million times over, and RAW was due to start shortly. He silently flipped the TV on, and changed it to the proper channel, then waited patiently for the show to begin.

* * *

Glenn didn't know what to do. He'd never seen her cry. Mark had, from what he'd told Glenn, and it was as heartbreaking as Mark had said. Sarah looked up at him. That single tear was all she could shed for the fallen girl. Maybe she had simply run out of tears. But Glenn doubted that. He had a sneaking suspicion that she just understood the world more than any 20 year old should. She understood that mourning the dead wasn't all about crying. It was about remembering, and cherishing what they left behind. 

"Either way, I did buy a ticket. Ring side, go me. Odd, considering I'd sworn I'd never buy a ticket for aWWE event. But yeah, I have to go give Kali to Annie,I don't wanna subject her to all the loudness. Then I gotta find my seat. Bleh. I'll try to sneak back in after RAW's over, but I'm not gonna hold my breath. Well, unless you help me. AHHHH,ok, I'm rambling. I've gotta go now," Sarah said in a rapid voice, then stood gracefully and kissed Glenn's cheek in goodbye.

"I'll see you later, big man. And once again.. I'm sorry," she whispered. She silently handed the child off to a short, chubby woman with badly dyed hair whowas standing in the hallway. Her nanny, not that she actually needed one. Just for tonight. Just fortonight.. she was going to forget she'd stepped into therole of mommy unwillingly. She was going to forget she'd hurt Glenn, and Mark, and Kevin.. and Jeff. Tonight, she was going to stop forgetting Jeff. She was goingto cheer a man she cared about doing what Jeff had loved so much. She'd seen TNA. His passion was gone, and her heart told her she had something to do with that. So tonight.. she was going to let herself remember. She'd have to see where it got her.

* * *

Jeff watched RAW, not particularly interested right then, his VCR recording it. But, something at the very, very end of the show caught his attention. The camera scanned over the crowd, and right next to the ring stood an angel. An angel with mascara tears running down her face. His angel. His angel crying black tears. But it was brief, and he wasn't sure that it was her. She looked.. more mature. Less bright hair, more ready to face the world attitude. Silently thanking god that he'd recorded it, he quickly switched over to the tape, and found the part he needed. It _was_ her. But why was she crying..? And that face looked familiar, he'd seen it before. Though, he couldn't remember her with her hair that color, or that length. It'd been short, and dyed when he'd known her. It looked natural now, and flowed down her back magnificently. She was beautiful. 

"I.. can't believe it. She's back. I wonder if Glenn knows. Glenn HAD to have seen her. He loved that girl like a daughter.." Jeff mumbled wildly to himself, hope flaring in his chest before he had a chance to squash it. He'd seen her around Cameron more than once.. or someone that looked amazingly like her. And every time, this feeling of hope had flared. And every time, it got rained on. He knew it was her this time, there was no mistaking it. A flash of an idea going through his mind, he rewound to Glenn's match, and sure enough, he'd been looking at where Sarah was a lot of it. So Glenn knew. Jeff was going to have to give that man a call later.

"Why, exactly, are you sitting so close to the television?" his girlfriend's voice snapped him out of his trance, causing him to realize he was no more than a couple of inches away. Frantically, his brain searched for a reason, any reason other than the truth, before he realized something about her.

"Your lipstick's smudged. Badly. Like you've been kissing someone," he pointed out. He felt a grim satisfaction as she turned a brilliant shade of red, and hurriedly tried to explain.

"Well.. see.." Jeff stopped paying attention after those two words. He'd heard them enough.

"Get your stuff, and get out. Oh, and you want to know why I was sitting so close to the TV? 'Cause I saw the woman I love. The woman who I had a chance with.. a chance to be happy with.. until you ruined it. So that's why. Bye Beth," he said quite calmly. He pointed to the door, then went back to examining the video tape. She had a pacifier around her neck. But he knew that before he saw it. Silently, he began to rack his brain as to why. Then it hit him. The night before they'd left for the hotel, the dream. That dream. He'd stored it back in his mind, it hurt him. But that's exactly where he'd seen this before. His angel, crying black tears, a pacifier around her neck. That was just creepy.

**Ok.. so that's that. If you're a Beth fan, I'm sorry, but she's gotta be the bad person. Mainly because I started out making her a bad person in AWNW. I have nothing against her.. anymore. I used to hate her, cuz she got Jeff and I didn't XD**

**Also.. sorry if it seems over dramatized, or anything like that. I'm just.. trying to go with something I know well, lol. Anyway, that's the second chapter, and I must admit that it's.. quite long, lol. Please please please review, they make me smile. Well, only review if you like it. I don't like flames, they annoy me, because normally, they're no better gramatically or punctually than the story itself. And that makes you a hypocrite, and hypocrites are my biggest pet peeve. Anyway, yeah, review, and hopefully the third chapter comes sooner than this one did.**


	3. BAM!

**Jesus, sorry again. Anyone else see a pattern emerging here? It's not that I don't wanna write, it's that I don't have the time. OH YEAH! My b-day's tomorrow! Yay! God I'm a dork.**

**Ok, I gotta update y'all a little bit. I CANNOT be e-mailed on any of my accounts anymore. I pissed someone off, and was getting multiple, very harassing e-mails daily, so I blocked all unknown people. If you'd like to be able to e-mail me, or anything of that nature, leave your e-mail in a review, and I'll add you to the allow list on my AOL account. I apologize for any inconvience this may cause. Same applies to all messengers. Sowwies again. But it's not my fault. No reference to Snitzky meant.**

**

* * *

**Three weeks had passed since Glenn had seen Sarah.**(AN: That means it's the Monday three weeks after they were in Omaha.. don't ask the date or where they were, cuz I dunno) **She'd called a week after the meeting to tell him that she had, as she'd thought would happen, lost Kali. She didn't seem particularly upset about it though. He'd called Kevin Nash and filled him in on everything. He'd gotten a very thorough shock when Jeff Hardy had called him, saying he'd seen Sarah, and wanted to know everything. Glenn had given nothing more away than she was ok. 

Jumping slightly as he felt a pair of hands go over his eyes, Glenn growled, upset till he heard the familiar chuckle. He turned around to see Kevin Nash standing next to Sarah. She looked happier than he'd ever seen her, and was all but literally glowing. Kevin seemed the same way, towering over the woman, making her look oddly short.

"Hola, aloha, guten tag, so on so forth. Didn't mean to scare you. Well, yes I did, but I can get away with the cute, innocent look if I claim I didn't," Sarah said, molding her expression into a very innocent look. You know the one. Wide eyes, high eyebrows, soft smile. It didn't work on her, as Glenn knew her too well.

"Uh-huh. Right, whatever you say," he replied, before swooping her up and spinning her in circles, causing her to shriek with giggles. That, naturally, attracted the attention of a few other superstars that were in the building. They flocked to the doorway, wondering who the hell would be giggling like that from the Big Red Machine's room. In the lead of the pack were none other than Adam Copeland, Amy Dumas and one Shane Helms. They all stared openly as Sarah was finally placed upon her feet.

"You look familiar.." Shane said, staring at her quizically.

"That's the Sarah that broke Jeff's heart!" Adam blurted, recognition darting across his face. Amy nodded slowly, recognizing her as well. Shane stepped closer to her, then went further back then he had been originally, due to Sarah glaring at him.

"And you're the Adam that helped break Matt's. Nice to meet you too. What the hell? Was I the topic of conversation all the time or something?" Sarah snapped, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Only before Jeff got back together with Beth," Amy said, a cruel smile on her face, trying to hurt Sarah for that jab she'd taken.

"Meh. If they're still together, they won't be for long. I can guarantee it. People don't appreciate secrets being kept from them. Whether it be in friendships, or elsewise. And I am definitely a secret he would keep hidden from most people. I had, and probably still have, the majority of that man's heart," Sarah replied, a smirk forming. She knew she was better than any of them at a battle of the words, and their opinions didn't matter anyway. Only down side, she had a habit of saying things she knew would make someone mad, whether she believed it to be true or not. Besides, she hadn't done anything to Jeff that he hadn't done to her first. She jumped back as she felt a slap come across her face.

"DON'T SMIRK AT ME, YOU SLUT!" Amy roared, leaping at Sarah.

"Real rich, coming from you, don't you think?" Sarah laughed, stepping out of the way, which only infuriated the redhead more. This game went on for almost a minute before Sarah got fed up.

"Quit dying your hair, quit wearing 15 pounds of makeup, quit dressing and acting like a slut, get surgery to fix that man jaw of yours, take your ugly ass, saggy fake fucking boobs out, and lose that inflated ego. I'm sick of it, and I know others are as well," Sarah hissed dangerously. After all this had been said, she brought her foot up faster than anyone could follow, and caught Amy directly under the chin. The shorter woman hit the ground hard, clearly knocked out. Adam looked torn between running away like a chicken, and defending his girlfriend.

"I won't hurt anyone unless they make me. You can check on her and all that without risk of becoming like her. When she wakes, tell her to consider herself lucky that I wasn't pissed enough to break her neck," Sarah said, calmly stepping over Amy to walk out of the locker room. She had claustrophobia issues. The crowd parted easily, most of them afraid. Shane followed her with his eyes as she headed for outside the arena. Silently walking away from the scene, he dialed a very familiar number, smiling to himself as he heard the thick familiar accent.

"Jeff.. you are not going to believe this. You and Matt need to get down here NOW, forget waiting till after the shows. Your Sarah chicky showed up and just laid Amy out."

* * *

Jeff stared, thunderstruck, at his cell phone. He and Matt had been headed to the arena anyway, so that fit nicely. Considering both of them were now unemployed, they'd gone out to see old friends. Shane, in particular. 

"Matt. Step on it. Sarah's there. I need to get there NOW!" Jeff yelled, feeling a rush of emotions that shocked him. He'd been mainly numb since Sarah had left. Matt evidently felt it as well, as he made no arguments, and sped up.

"Oh yeah. Shane said she laid Amy out, for some reason. We'll get the whole story once we get there," the younger man added, failing to miss the way Matt's face lit up upon hearing this information.

* * *

Shane very, very cautiously approached Sarah, who had gone to a park down the street, and was sitting on a swing, slowly swinging back and forth, her flip flops dangling from one hand. 

"You have claustrophobia, don't you? I have it too, I could tell," he said, taking the swing next to her. She nodded, still rocking, her face tilted toward the ground. He glanced at her bare feet, and saw the tear drops glistening in the sunlight.

"I didn't mean to break his heart, you know. I just got scared. Because I heard him tell Beth he loved her. I didn't hear anything else, because I left. My heart couldn't take anymore. I ran, it's what I do. But I swear on whatever it is I care about any more, I did not mean to break his heart. It was just a side effect. I would never have done it on purpose," she whispered, her voice soft and thick with tears.

"You ever think about talking to him about it?" Shane questioned gently, not wanting to make her any more upset.

"Why? So I could just hear him call me a silly little girl that he could never fall for? That I was stupid and naive for ever thinking that? I wouldn't have been able to stand that Shane. And there was a chance it could happen. I play the odds. I'd be a damn good gambler. I know what the chances are of a situation going my way, and it's very rarely in my favor. So I took two years off. I healed. I forgot. I did what I needed to do to make it through the rest of my life. But seeing everyone here.. especially Amy and Adam, hearing the things they said. I don't know if I can take it. All the memories, good and bad, keep re-surfacing, re-playing in my mind, and I can't stop them. It's killing me.." she said, raising her head slowly and wiping away her tears. Shane, unlikeall the otherpeople that had seen Sarah cry, refused to look away. He stared her dead in her eyes, knowing she needed thetruth, not some sugar coated tale that said she did the right thing.

"You fucked up. You fucked up badly. Not only did you hurt Jeff, you hurt yourself. You spent these two years forgetting things that shouldn't have been forgotten. You never knew the truth. You didn't know if he loved or hated you, and that will kill the light in a soul faster than an actual heartbreak. Being left wondering is worse than someone giving you a good reason for not loving you," he said as gently as he could. Her tears flowed faster, but they weren't as sad as the ones before.

"I needed to hear that from someone other than myself. Thank you, Shane," she breathed, standing and smoothing her skirt over her backside. She wandered out away from the swings, then slipped her feet into her flip flops, wandering in the general direction of the arena again. Shane smiled after her, hoping she'd get a happy ending, then made his way back to the arena.

* * *

Half an hour had passed, and Amy was still out. Shane had come back, and checked on her out of duty. Sarah had gone back to Glenn's locker room, and was spending the time before the show with her two favorite men. Neither of them had asked about the tears, just hugged her and began filling in the two year hole there was in Sarah's information. She'd been amazingly happy about the divorce, glad that Mark had found proof. She didn't feel like being vengeful and saying "I told you so". She just felt like celebrating the fact that her mother didn't get the chance to hurt him as badly as she could have. She felt a soft nudge on her knee, and knew she'd spaced out again. She peered up at Kevin's face, somewhat sheepishly. 

"Sorry. What'd you say?" she mumbled, a bit out of it.

"I asked what you'd been up to, kid. Pay attention," his voice was soft and teasing, but it held an edge of worry. Sarah knew the worry wasn't from her spacing out, they were all used to that, but for the answer he was afraid to get. The answer that she'd spent the years in a personal hell. She smiled a true smile at him, one that reached her eyes, then hugged him.

"Don't worry. I spent the last couple of years finding myself, cliché as that may be. I found the support I needed, and in turn became able to support the people I love again. It wasn't hell, for the most part. I was ok. Not necessarily happy, but ok. I always bounce back," she said, feeling it in her soul that all of this was true. Kevin nodded, and then hugged her tightly to him.

"Don't you ever run away like that again. I'll hunt you down and kill you if you do," he breathe into her hair, not paying attention to the fact that Sarah was having difficulty breathing.

"Kevin.. Kev.. Kevvy..KEVIN! Can't breathe, and blue isn't my color! Let me go, dammit," she yelled into his ear with what breath she could gather. He let go of her, and her hand shot to her ribs, before she busted out with laughter.

"I love you guys, really I do. But if you ever try to strangle me again, I'll.. do horrible things to you with a cheese grater," she said, grinning.

"Really, a cheese grater. That's original, even for you, Sarah. Nice to know you've spent this time thinking up ways to hurt even more people."

Sarah froze, her face instantly going emotionless as she recognized the voice. She didn't bother turning around to make sure she was right.

"Yeah, Jeff. Isn't it amazing what people can do to hurt others?"

* * *

**BWHAHAHAHA! Ok, I have to explain the Amy/Sarah scene. Honestly, I used to respect her above all other divas, but all that is gone now. She isn't wrestling, she's whoring around on-screen and off, and I just can't like her. Once again, if you're a fan, I apologize. This is just my opinion. I'd say the next chapter might be coming sooner, but I doubt it. Oh, and don't forget to at least review to say happy birthday people! Oh yeah.. the cheese grater thingy. My fiancé threatens to do horrible things to me with a cheese grater if.. well, the most common situation is this:**

_I love you._

**_I love you too._**

_Good, you better._

**_Or what?_**

_I'll do horrible things to you with a cheese grater._

**Da bold be me! XD So yeah, I had to put it in there, I think it's funny, lol.**


	4. Too Many Words, Too Much Pain

**EEK! I'm so, so sorry! I know it's been a month, please forgive me! It's just that I've been having ex issues (his ex, not mine XD), and stalker issues, and blah blah blah. I'm so so very sorry! Oh yes, and thank you very, very much for the birthday wishes XD It was awesome, btw. I finally got a damn engagement ring, despite the fact that we're coming up on the six month anniversary of him proposing. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

Had you pressed a gun to Jeff Hardy's temple and demanded why those words, out of all the millions of words in the English language, had come out of his mouth right then, you would have been cleaning him off of the wall. He didn't know. He couldn't have explained it, no matter what. He felt something inside of him wilt as he saw his love's spine stiffen.

"Yeah, Jeff. Isn't it amazing what people can do to hurt others?"

Her voice was icier than a December morning in Alaska, but Jeff and Jeff alone caught the edge of pain. He knew her, quite possibly better than anyone had _ever_ known her. Taking a moment to survey her, he registered just how much she had changed. Obviously, she'd ditched the bright pink, short hair for long dark waves, but the more subtle changes caught his attention. Her posture was better, she held herself more confidently. She dressed sexier, more like she was proud of being a woman.

He felt a small jolt of joy as he realized she was wearing clothes he had bought her. His favorite outfit, though he hadn't told her that. It was a simple short, yet loose fitting black skirt, and a blood-red top that stopped a couple of inches above the top of the skirt. He recognized it, remembering being all but literally knocked on his ass when she'd come out of the dressing room. His eyes flitted over the room, and he registered a pair of black flip flops in the corner, then saw Sarah's bare feet. Her toenails were a deep, deep red. He felt like kicking himself as he watched her carefully stand, being sure not to flash anyone. She silently turned, facing him, forcing him to look into those eyes he loved so. Her hair fell oh-so dramatically onto her face, framing it perfectly. He fought the urge to sweep her into his arms and drag her off somewhere to make her scream out his name. Her eyes narrowed, and it was a look he knew all too well, though he'd never seen it directed at him. She was pissed. No, scratch that, she had passed pissed and was going into unchartered territory.

"I'm.. sorry," Jeff whispered, directing his eyes to the floor and shifting uncomfortably, "I guess I'll just be going."

He did a slow about-face, praying for Sarah to reach out and stop him, disappointment filling his very soul when she didn't. He silently took his leave, his brother following, after sending Sarah a very shocked look. Matt had not expected it to happen like this.

Sarah waited patiently until she was sure they were gone, then she silently shut the locker room door and, abandoning all forms of dignity she may have had, plopped down on the floor andbawled her eyes out. Feeling mildly shocked as she felt the hot, fat tears flow, she thought about everything that had flown through her mind and soul looking into his eyes. Anger, pain, happiness, fear, elation.. love. Why did he have to say that? Why? He'd purposely set out to hurt her, and now she wasn't sure she could forgive him.

* * *

Matt quickly caught up to the younger Hardy, clapping his hand onto Jeff's shoulder. As the younger man turned around, Matt was unhappy to see tears filling those brilliant green eyes.

"I don't know why I said that.. I was just so mad at her! I mean, she just took off and gave me two years of hell, and now she's back, looking completely happy and no worse for wear. It just.. it isn't fair," Jeff exploded, a slight flood of tears trickling down his face. Matt attempted tosteer him out of the building, seeing a very familiar flash of red hair headed towards Glenn Jacob's dressing room, but it was unsuccessful. Jeff felt anger, a very welcome emotion, flow through him as he watched Amy Dumas fly through the door, yelling at the top of her lungs. Matt's surge of anger soon followed, upon catching glimpse of a blonde mane. Quickly running in that direction, the brothers braced themselves for the worst, and still managed to get shocked.

Staring as they reached the doorway, it took Jeff a moment to absorb everything that was going on. Kevin Nash had Adam in a very painful-looking version of a half nelson, and Amy was currently being pinned to the ground by Glenn Jacob's foot. Sarah sat on the floor, looking thoroughly confused, her cheeks wet, her eyes red, and tears still slipping out of the corners. Jeff noticed that she was holding her chin, as though someone had hit her. Feeling every ounce of anger and resentment slide from his body, he rushed to her, crouching in front of her. Gently, he coaxed her hand away from her chin, and saw a bruise already beginning to form. He wasn't fool enough to think the tears were from the pain, physical pain meant next to nothing to Sarah. And besides, her eyes were far too red to have only been crying for a short amount of time.

"What happened..? Who did it?" he blurted, fear that she was hurt overwhelming his senses, and making his words come out harsher than intended. Slowly, Sarah's eyes came into focus, staring directly into his, and he caught himself revising his earlier thoughts on her emotions. He didn't see the anger he thought was there. He saw pain, happiness, fear.. and, something that made a slow warmth creep up from his toes, love.

"Amy kicked me.. only clipped me, 'cause I moved, but still.. it hurts," she whispered, closing her eyes, her tears ebbing slightly. Jeff called out to Matt to go find ice, but nothing would divert his attention from Sarah. Over Adam and Amy's loud yells, and the random passerby's exclamations, anything he said to her then, and anything she said in reply, would be heard by no one but them. This was his chance! The only question was.. was he brave enough to take it?

**Bwhaha. That is where I shall end it, for now. I know it's kinda short and everything, but.. I can't help it. I'm severely sleep deprived, and making it worse by writing this for you peoples XP**

**Much love for all the reviews though. They brighten up my day, always. Keep them coming! **


	5. Only Time Will Tell

**Sooner than usual, be proud of me! Oh, and note the title change, pwease. It's from an Evanescence song. The story and song have the same general idea. For a better look into what will probably be coming up eventually, look up the lyrics. However, they will give you the idea of a semi-happy ending.. but I'm not promising that. It's possible, but I make no promises.I'll say no more.. but don't put too much trust in the song. Oh yes.. one more thing, SORRY! If you'd like to e-mail me, for whatever weird reason you may have, please send them to the email specified in my profile. It's open to the public. XP**

* * *

Surprisingly, Sarah beat him to the punch. She looked him dead in the eye, and grabbed his chin - rather roughly, he might add -so he couldn't look away.

"Why did you back down so easily earlier? I've never, _ever_ seen you do that. You're normally up for a fight," she breathed,due to the fact thattalking caused small rushes of pain to come to life. Jeff considered momentarily, thinking of how to best phrase what he was about to say. Sarah noted the somewhat distant, glassed over look in his eyes, recognizing it as one she had in most pictures of herself, and knew he was thinking.

"A very, very wise person once told me that a true man not _only_ understood when he had hurt someone he cared about, but had the _sense_ to leave upon the realization. There's no real point in causing more pain, when you never truly meant to cause any in the first place," he explained, his words coming out slightly rushed and a bit jumbled. Sarah understood perfectly, as she had been the one to tell him that, two years ago. Right after her brother had started a fight with Jeff. Feeling a wave of confusion wash over over, she let go of his chin, and folded her hands in her lap, then proceeded to examine them as though they held the answers to all the mysteries of the world.

Politely turning his head, knowing he'd struck a nerve, Jeff focused his attention on the doorway. He saw a few superstars gathered there, such as Chris Jericho, Dave Batista, John Cena, Shelton Benjaminand Christian (for whatever reason, I don't know HIS real name..) curiousity having gotten the better of them. They all looked amazingly confused, having no idea what was going on. Jeff heard his brother rudely push his way back into the room, carrying ice in a bucket and a soft white towel. Jeff quickly took them, placing a handful of ice in the towel and wrapping it up securely, before gently placing it against Sarah's face. She grimaced, and let out a slight hiss of pain, before raising her hand to hold it. Her hand wound up gently covering Jeff's, as she wasn't really paying attention, and at that moment, she felt something rise up inside of her. Something she couldn't describe, something she'd never felt. It was a combination of wanting and needing him to touch her somewhere else.. somewhere lower.. somewhere _much _more private. Sure, she'd felt random little twinges of feelings before.. especially when she was wrapped up in his arms, but it was never, ever like this. Normally, it was just a feeling of not wanting to leave, because he made her feel safe.

She jerked her hand away quickly, scared of the sudden rush. Jefffelt mildly hurt, before realizing something had scared her. He'd felt it too, but was used to it. He'd gotten it a lot, nearly everytime he was around her. He was just good at hiding it. He gently used the hand that was still upon her face to guide her eyes to his. Looking deep into her pretty eyes, he saw a fire burning intensely. Now, he'd seen quite a few fires in her eyes. One out of rage, one out of anger, one out of pain, one out of frustration. But this one.. it was different. It was more intense, more full of a.. depth he couldn't quite fathom. He quite liked it.

Sarah couldn't take Jeff's penetrating stare. It did nothing at all to help her, as it made the sensations within her even stronger. Yes, she knew what it was. She was _not _a virgin, despite the fact that most people thought she was. She'd gotten the urges before, but never like this. Carefully taking the ice from him, she stood, and began to pace.

"What the _hell _is going on in here?" yelled Eric Bischoff from the door. Sarah let the others explain it, not feeling up to talking anymore. The rest of the day passed in silence, and Sarah left before the show started. Questions were left unanswered, and it didn't bother her in the least. She had to get her own questions answered first.

* * *

As she began reflecting, a few hours later, Sarah realized just how deeply she truly cared about Jeff. Nothing had ever triggered her hormones like that. She'd never really associated sex with love.. more with trust. Trust was, to her, far more valuable than love. She trusted Jeff. She sincerely did.

Sighing softly as she heard a knock on her hotel room door, Sarah quietly climbed out of the tub, and wrapped herself in a towel. Answering the door without thinking to ask who it was, she was treated with quite the shock. Jeff Hardy was standing there, staring at her mainly uncovered body.

Jeff suspected she'd just gotten out of either a tub or a shower. Most likely a bath, as her hair wasn't wet, other than the bit at the base of her neck. The towel she had wrapped herself in barely covered everything that needed to be, and he caught himself wondering just how high up she shaved as he stared at the long smooth legs. His eyes traveled upwards, to where she was clutching the towel, her breasts half threatening to spill out. Sarah didn't look embarassed, or anything of that nature, just very shocked. Blinking slowly, she seemed to finally get her wits about her.

"Um.. hold on just a minute, let me get dressed.." she mumbled, shutting the door in his face. Leaning against the door mometarily, she took a deep breath. God, the things his looks did to her. She hurried over to her bag, and tugged on the first clothes she could manage to get out of the damn thing - it just happened to be a rather short pair of shorts and a tank top - she glanced into a mirror, taking in her messy hair which was piled lazily atop her head, and the bruise that had blossomed brilliantly on her chin. Mumbling to herself about stupid, redheaded little whores, she wandered back over to the door, where Jeff stood waiting.

**Welp, that's that! I know it's like, uber sexually charged and everything, but I promise it won't be like that next chapter. It just happened to be one area of their relationship I had yet to explore, and I felt in the mood to. XP**

**On a different note, my muse has decided to start a new story in my head. The first chapter is in the works, and I'm afraid it might just take away from what little time I have for this story. It'll be another wrestling story. However, it will be darker than this one. It might still have the humor, but I don't know. It will also include Glenn Jacobs, as he's my favorite at the moment! XP**

**Y'all are welcome to read if you like, but I won't force it upon you. It may not be your type, or you just might not like it, I dunno. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next should be.. hopefully soon! **


	6. Fix me, I'm broken

**Welp. Firstly.. I'M SORRY! There has been so much dramatic bullshit in my life in the past three months that I've hardly kept my head on. Between my family, jealous little bitches butting into my relationship, and a lot of fighting with my fianceé (we're fine, for those of you that actually worry, lol), there really hasn't been time for me to write. But I'm getting around to it now! Take it as a belated Turkey Day gift (if you're American, that is). If you aren't.. just be glad. XD**

**WARNING: VERY graphic scene later. NOT sex. DON'T read if you are easily disturbed.**

Sarah silently opened the door, stepping back so that Jeff could come in. Waiting until he had passed her, and positioned himself on her bed, she followed. Not looking at him, she plopped down across from him, tugging a pillow into her lap and absently plucking at the pillowcase. The silence between them was heavy and awkward. Growing tired of the game, Sarah stared openly at Jeff until his attention finally focused on her.

"Why are you here, Jeff?" she asked, her voice wary and tired.

"I.. had to see you. I messed up, and I know it, and I can't take the thought of you leaving while things are so bad between us again," he murmured, captivated by the raw emotions playing over her face and in her eyes. Her face quickly closed off as he finished this simple explination.

"What do you mean, again?" she asked, feeling panic rise in her chest, but being able to block it from showing. Jeff sent her a half amused, half irritated look.

"Sarah.. I'm not stupid. Did you really think that I would never figure out why you just left? I know you heard me tell Beth that I loved her. If you'd stuck around for even a minute -- hell, even _half_ a minute -- after that, you would have heard me tell her that I didn't want to be with her. That I was almost over her, and the pain she caused me. That I'd found someone else I wanted to be with more, and that that person had locked me in her basement, because I tickled her," Jeff said, old emotions flooding him. He could only imagine what she had gone through. He'd spent a long time thinking about it once he figured everything out. The heartache, the self doubt, the anger. Sarah quietly bowed her head slightly, an old wound re-opening and beginning to bleed again. Jeff noticed a spot of color on her left shoulder blade.

"What's on your back, honey?" he asked, distracted by figuring out a way to nudge her around without actually _touching_ her. He didn't see the look of shock on her face as he called her honey. She turned, revealing a beautiful tattoo. From what he could tell, it was a bird, engulfed in gorgeous crimson, purple, and purpley-blue flames. Knowing he probably couldn't see it all, Sarah wriggled her left arm into her shirt, then popped it out the neckline, effectively pulling the top down enough to show the entire tattoo.

"It's a pheonix," she said, her head still bowed.

"Like.. the city?" Jeff asked, slightly confused. Sarah just shook her head.

"Let me know when you're done examining it," she murmured, feeling goosebumps rise on her skin as Jeff moved in closer, and began to caress her skin with his fingertips. After a few moments, he leaned back again, signaling being finished. Slipping her arm back into her shirt, she turned.

"You don't know the myth of a pheonix..? It's a bird, not real -- obviously, since it's a myth -- that, when ready to die, bursts into flame. It's then re-born out of the ashes. It was said to havea beautiful song that struck courage into the pure of heart, and fear into the heart of those that weren't so pure. I've always thought it kinda fit me.. other than the song, at least," she explained, her eyes not quite meeting his.

"When did you get it?" he asked, even though he knew the answer already. He didn't know how he knew, but he did.

"About a year ago. The year anniversary of my disappearance. It was the day I was re-born, I thought it only fitting.." she said, finally locking eyes with him. She knew that it would cause him just as much hurt as it did her, and as mad as she was at him right then, that was the last thing she wanted to do. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see the pain that would show in those beautiful eyes, feeling tears begin to well up.

Damn this man. He was the _only_ man, in the history of her life, that had been able to make her cry. Sighing deeply, she ran her hands over her face, pausing as she felt a gentle touch on the side of her chin. The un-bruised side, thankfully. She peered at Jeff from between her fingers, not really ready to face him. He didn't look upset, pained, or anything like that. Quite the contrary, he seemed to be.. deep in thought. She was confused.

He gently pulled her hands away from her face, smiling as he saw Sarah completely lost for what may have been the first time in her life. He moved his hand slightly, cradling the bottom of her head and gently rubbing his thumb against the side of her face that hadn't been hit recently. Glee, the kind of glee that a small child feels when they wake on Christmas day and see all the presents, traveled through him as she closed her eyes and gently nuzzled into his hand.

"There are a lot of things that would be better said through physical actions, that I would love to say to you, but first.. we need to talk," Jeff whispered, moving close enough that his knees touched hers, and placing his lips very close to her ear, "All right?"

* * *

Sarah leaned back, and nodded slowly. She began to play with her fingers, more specifically the ring on her finger, feeling slightly apprehensive, which was odd for her. Normally, in the presence of guys, she was totally confident, even taking the upperhand the majority of the time. Jeff, on the other hand.. it wasn't so much that she lacked confidence, she knew she was pretty, and she knew that Jeff wanted her, it was just that she felt shy. For once, she genuinely cared about the guy. 

"What's with the ring..? You haven't secretly gotten engaged or anything, have you?" Jeff asked, feeling slightly worried until Sarah laughed softly.

"No. I was once, though.. and yes, this was my engagement ring. It's beautiful and I love it even if I don't love him anymore, but it will only fit on this finger. I think he got it made that way, just to annoy me," she said, smiling softly as she looked down at her finger, an ancient sadness glowing softly in her eyes. Not failing to miss it, Jeff frowned.

"What happened?"

Sarah smiled sadly at him.

"Are you sure you want to know? It's a rather sad story, really," she asked, staring at him.

"I'm positive. You never really told me many stories about yourself," he said, smiling at her, praying that he could cheer her up even a little bit. Sarah nodded, then absently rubbed her lower lip as her eyes glassed over.

"I was 15. I'd seen my fair share of shit in life, and hadn't really ever known love, which basically meant that I was desperate for it. He was 21. His name was Austin. Technically, illegal and completely off limits. Not-so-technically, completely irresistable. He was the first guy that seemed interested in more than my boobs, and I think I fell in love with him based on that. And before I even finish this, no, he never hurt me physically.

Anyway. He was everything I wanted. Smart, funny.. and he adored me. Well, I thought he did, at least. He was my first love, my first kiss, my first.. well, he was my first for a lot of things. We were together for almost a year and a half when he proposed. I thought it was romantic at the time, now I just think it's cliché. Just the typical "drop down on one knee in front of all of our mutual friends and ask" thing. We were together for about.. 3 months, all in all, after that.

On my birthday, my 17th birthday, the biggest birthday party I ever had, I walked in on him in a.. ahh, compromising position with my so-called best friend. I though it was weird that it didn't hurt as much as I thought it should. Naturally, I left him, then dealt with a lot of begging to go back to him. But I wouldn't. I wasn't the foolish child that had fallen in love with him anymore. He said that he was drunk, and she'd seduced him, and it was probably true, but I didn't care. I wasn't in love with him anymore. I'd grown up, and I wanted more.

**(If easily disturbed, stop reading from here, until I say so.)**

I lived in Maryland then. One day, I came home from being out all day, and found a really.. horrible sight in my bedroom. He'd abducted my ex-best friend, the girl that had seduced him, and brought her to my house. Killed her, in the middle of my bed.. I arrived just in time to see him blow his own head off.." Sarah said, her eyes growing glossier as more memories washed over her.

Images flashed in Sarah's mind. The mangled body of her dead friend. The blood, everywhere. The "You did this" written on her mirror in his blood. The sound of the gun blast, the smell of the gunpowder, the slow-motion picture of Austin's head going from solid to lots of chunks. The blood spattering all over everything, just like in a movie. She'd dropped a bag that held a small jewelry box, it had broken.

"I don't think I was supposed to see him die. I think I was supposed to stumble upon the bodies. But, such is my luck. In the one act that my mother has ever done that was in my best interest, she moved us out of there, with none of our material possesions other than clothes, and into the house we were in when you met me. I'm not sure the blood was ever even cleaned up.."

**(You can read now.)**

Jeff stared at her, dumbstruck.

"Did you ever get counseling? Or anything?"

"Yes, I got grief counseling. I don't really know if a shrink can really take away those memories, so it doesn't really matter. They'll lurk in my mind until the day I die. It just didn't have the effect he wanted," she muttered, now biting and chewing on her bottom lip.

"How so?"

"I don't blame myself for their deaths."

**Ok, quick summary of the graphic shiz. Basically, Austin abducted the ho that seduced him, killed her violently, then killed himself in front of Sarah's eyes.**

**That is all for this moment in time. I'm actually really inspired, so there might be another chapter tonight, before I go to bed. Please review. :big puppy dog eyes:**


	7. Only Silence Understands

**All right. It's been what? 10 months? I'm sorry, sincerely. All I really have to say is, short of someone dying, I think I've had every possible bad thing happen to me. My best friend totally betrayed me, my mother almost died, and my fiancee really, really hurt me. I was dumb and forgave him, though.**

**There are going to be about.. oh, three chapters or so, and then I'll be skipping ahead to July of 2006. I've got a few things written in a notebook, so I should be able to keep up with regular updating. I hope.**

* * *

Jeff stared at her, slightly dumbstruck.

"What do you mean?" he whispered, thoroughly shaken.

"I knew him, inside and out. He knew me rather well too. There had been times that we'd fought, and he would threaten suicide, and I'd stay with him because I didn't want it on my conscience. He did it once after we'd broken up, too.

He did masonry, which means he was on scaffolding a lot. I'm pretty sure his exact words were: "Well, you never know, I could 'slip' and fall tomorrow at work. How would you feel then, huh?" I pretty much told him I'd go to the funeral in hot pink."

Sarah shrugged, then smiled to herself.

"By that time.. I just didn't give a fuck. I'd come to realize that I was a fool for staying with him; the only way I could ever be responsible for a death would be for me to pull the trigger. One day, I got really fed up with him, after he said something about how no one would even notice if he died. I was tired, I had worked all day, it was 2 in the morning, and I wanted him to stop calling me. I told him to just do it already.

He killed himself the next day. I think he planned it, really. Maybe he was hoping I'd come home and miraculously save him by declaring my love for him, which didn't exist. Personally, I really do think this is the case. Then he realized that, no matter what happened between he and I, we couldn't have anything. He'd committed murder, a particularly gruesome one. He'd put going to jail for the rest of his life, most likely on death row.

I have a criminal record. There's no way in hell I'd ever be cleared to go see him," she said, before taking a deep breath. Jeff held up his hand.

"Criminal record?" he asked, wondering what kind of crime angels were allowed to commit.

"Yeah, a "friend" got me busted for stealing a car. I wasn't driving, so they couldn't get me on much. I was on probation for about 6 months, which wasn't a problem. I'm not a drug person, and things like that. I'm pretty sure it's off my record now, though it wouldn't have been then," she explained, nodding slightly.

"All right, on with the story," Jeff said, beaming at her. She smiled back, and drew another breath.

"He thought that he knew me better than I knew myself; he was convinced that I would be miserable for the rest of my life, blaming myself for two deaths. However, his downfall was this: I knew him better than he ever could have known me.

Desperation drove him to suicide, not me. In theory, I could have stopped it. But there is no one in this world that will ever be more important to me than.. me. Except maybe a child I could potentially have. I shouldn't have to stay with someone because he's not man enough to accept someone leaving him," she mumbled the last bits more to herself than anything, a fiery glow showing in her eyes. Jeff openly stared. She was beautiful.

Absent-mindedly reaching out, he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"So.. is that house still in your mom's name?" he asked, curiousity taking most of his common sense away. Sarah looked at him oddly for a moment before realization brightened her face.

"Oh, that's right, you don't know. No, it isn't in her name, but it is, however, in mine. Her father built it. And he left everything he ever owned to me. Including the house that you met me in. That's where I live now, actually. Well, not right now, right now; I'm having renovations done to break down the wall between two of the guest rooms so I can make a big entertainment room," Sarah babbled, suddenly feeling shy and insecure enough that her tongue got away from her. He was staring at her very intently.

Scooting back to where she was out of his line of reach, and resting her back against the headboard, Sarah stared back. Jeff didn't seem to notice.

"Have you ever gone back to the house in Maryland?" he asked. Sarah could see wheels turning in his head.

"No.. but my mom did once. I'm not really sure why. I've been thinking about it lately.. though, I'd have to replace pretty much an entire room. I could never live there, either. I should probably sell it, really. I'd try and turn it into like, a bread and breakfast type thing.. but with the horrors that went on there, I don't think it'd do well. It's not really a big town out there, everyone remembers it well. Most of them still think I'm a murderer, I bet. Even if we hadn't just fled as soon as I was cleared of everything, I couldn't have stayed there.. he was someone's brother, cousin, uncle, son. She had family, too. I went to school with a lot of them. My friend would have started looking at me oddly.." she twiddled absently with the corner of a pillowcase, not looking him in the eye.

Jeff had learned the funny things about Sarah. Like how it was hard for her to be vulnerable, even when she was alone. She liked knowing she was tough, that she could withstand it all. He strongly suspected that, even if she found her dream man, that would be one of the few things she would never get over.

He supposed it came from her mother, though it could have been her father too. He paused in his thoughts, realizing he'd never heard hide or hair about her father. He frowned. He didn't even know her last name. Remembering what she'd said about her father being a wrestler, he began to wonder if he knew him. There had always been something kind of familiar about her.

"Sarah.. what's your last name?" he asked, praying he didn't hear a familiar last name.

"Keeley. Why?" Sarah asked, a completely innocent look on her face. She prayed he didn't see the mischevious glint in her eye. He didn't, because he was scanning his brain for anyone in the history of wrestling that had had that last name.

"Just curious," he said, sending her a winning smile.

"Though, that is after I had it changed to my best friends'. I've always hated the name I was given," Sarah said, yet again smiling back. She had a very famous father, and had no clue what happened between him and her mother. Lately, she'd been in the process of trying to find out by getting bits of information from his best friend, but it hadn't gone very well. She wasn't sure he even knew she existed.

Jeff frowned, wondering why she would have done that. Before he could open his mouth to ask, she began to talk again.

"Yes Jeff, I have a famous father. But I'm not going to tell anyone until I find out whether he knew about me, and what happened between he and my mother. I'm sorry," she said, genuinely remorseful that she couldn't tell him. She couldn't risk anyone knowing.

"I told myself when we moved that I would just start a new life. That I'd be.. happy. Then my mom married Mark. And things began to get complicated. I'd sworn off guys for good, then in waltzes you.. an amazing, kind, loving person. You turned my world upside down, you did.

I didn't have the stereotypical "Oh my god, I'm in love with him" moment because I never really fell for you, no offense. I mean, I loved.. love you, but I'm not sure I ever fell IN love with you. But I trusted you. You made me feel good, happy.. safe. I'd never had that before. It didn't hurt because you told her you loved her. I think I could take you being in love with someone else.

I knew what she did to you. Anyone who's ever been a fan does, really. And I knew how much she would not like me. And I figured if you were in love with her.. you'd choose her over me," Sarah felt the hot beginnings of tears building in her eyes, and tried very hard to blink them away.

Jeff was in shock. Since when did Sarah just bare her soul like this? Given, she had more or less done it once before, when her mother had ignored her birthday, but that was different.

He took a good look at her. Her hair fell over her face, completely hiding it from view. Her body language didn't give much away, other than she was upset and felt vulnerable. Then something hit him very close to his heart.

Frowning, he watched a single, crystalline tear drop from her chin onto the pillow that was in her lap. Soon, it was followed by more. Sarah didn't sob, he knew that, but it still broke his heart.

Being careful not to move so suddenly as to startle her, he got up on his knees and brought himself closer. Being mindful of the bruise, he grasped her chin and pulled with just enough pressure to get her to look at him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, before gently pressing his lips to hers.

* * *

Bwhaha. All right, I do have to point this out. I'm sure someone will think the whole "threatening suicide because you left me" thing is unlikely. I've had it happen to me. With my ex. Who is NOT named Austin. xD

And I really did tell him I'd go to his funeral in pink, lol.


	8. I'd Give It All Away

Sarah responded pretty much immediately. She applied gentle pressure back, a smile forming on her lips. Jeff could taste the saltiness from the tears, so he pulled away and dried her face, before going back in.

Before he'd really realized what had happened, Sarah had wound up in his lap, pressing against him in a very intimate way, and if he didn't stop soon, they'd be doing something they weren't ready for. Reluctantly, he pulled away, mildly shocked when Sarah just rested her head on his shoulder and settled comfortably against him.

"You know, this is probably the most wrong thing to say here, but this happened when Beth and I were first together, and she threw a huge fit. It was actually pretty funny," Jeff said, smiling at the soft weight in his lap.

"Mm.. yeah, I know how that goes. I did it to Austin. I'd rather piss someone off than do something I'd wind up regretting later, though," she murmured, nestling closer to him absently. Jeff smiled, and wrapped his arms around her, gently resting his head on hers.

They sat like that for a good 15 minutes, relishing the comfortable silence. A part of Jeff understood at some primal level that he needed to cherish this, because he wasn't sure how many opportunities he would get for anything like this in the future. He was going back to work soon, and he suspected Sarah wasn't in town permanently.

He smiled as he felt Sarah's head tilt, then a gentle nuzzle against his neck. He brushed her bangs back from her forehead, then placed a gentle kiss there before going back to how they were before. He could live with this. He was happy with just this for now. Maybe forever.

Ever since he first met her, he'd believed that they were meant for a romance destined for the stars. The kind of love that deserved its own movie, or novel. When she'd disappeared, he'd thought she didn't feel the same. Now, with her sitting against him, sighing in contentment, not running away after all he'd done.. he had no doubt, at all, that she felt the same way.

Needing something to do, he reached up and rubbed her ear, carefully counting how many studs were in there. When they'd first met, there had been ten, but she had taken six out. He moved his thumb slowly, counting all the way up to 7. She'd gotten some of them redone. He smirked to himself, knowing that he didn't have to test for her lip and tongue ring; they were both still there. What else had she had pierced, he pondered. It hit him.

He slipped his hand down to her belly button, feeling for an earring of any kind. There wasn't one there. She giggled softly.

"That tickles. And you smell good," she whispered, breaking the silence. Jeff smiled.

"You do too. Why did you take your belly button ring out?" he asked, tugging gently on said body part. She giggled again, this time louder.

"'Twas bugging me. I'm thinking of keeping it out permanently, actually. The hole'll never close, though," she said, grabbing his hand and interlocking their fingers to keep him from tickling her.

The silence relapsed. Jeff gently rubbed his thumb across her knuckles, doing his best to avoid one specific question which he was afraid to ask.

"Jeff.. what does this mean for us?" Sarah whispered, apprehensive about the answer. "Are we even an us?"

Jeff paused to consider how best to phrase his answer, incredibly glad that she had asked first. Just as he opened his mouth to answer, however, there came a knock at the door. Sarah lifted her head from its resting place and frowned.

She quietly got up, and started towards the door. She paused to crouch down and pick up Jeff's shirt, which she had all but ripped off and thrown across the room earlier, and toss it to him. She quickly found a t-shirt and pair of jeans in her bag, and hurriedly wiggled into them before making it to the door.

She put her eye to the peeky hole, and felt a shot of terror shoot up her spine. She gasped quietly, quickly getting Jeff's attention. In the short seconds between him getting off the bed and getting to the door, Sarah had begun to shake.

"This isn't possible," she whispered, clasping a hand to her mouth. Jeff gently moved her away from the door, and looked out the hole. A man stood there, with dark hair and light blue eyes.

Jeff glanced at Sarah, who still looked to be in shock. Sending her a question with his eyes, they didn't have to speak a word. The person knocked again.

"He found me," Sarah breathed, her face going pale.


	9. I Can't Stay Away From You

**Blarg.**

**What's up?**

**Yes, I've been M.I.A. as of late. I got married. I got divorced. (lol. And before any of you ask, yes, I'm fine. It was 8 months ago.)**

**I'm back living with my dad, and have no job of which to speak. I'm beginning to waste hours of my life on maplestory, but I PROMISE I'll spend whatever time I can working on my stories. This one in particular. I have it all mapped out in my head and everything.**

--

"The guy with the cakes Jeff! They tempt me with their chocolaty, calorie laden goodness that will head straight for my hips! And he just wants me to get fat, I bet," Sarah let an ingenuine smile cross her face. She had to cover this up, and fast.

Jeff sent her a bemused look. Running a hand over his face, he tried to catch up.

She did know the man at the other side of the door. She knew him rather well, actually, though that was not something she was going to admit to Jeff Hardy. She'd warmed his bed, and he'd warmed hers, on several occasions in the not so distant past.

His name was Mike. And the sight of him had genuinely scared him.

She hadn't fallen in love with him, but he'd fallen for her. Hard. And when she stopped coming around, he had gotten possessive of the woman that was nothing more than a fuck buddy.

One night, he'd snuck into her bedroom, just like old times. Except this time, Sarah wasn't willing. She'd fought him, and wound up breaking his ribs, which caused a puncture in one of his lungs. He'd lived, but he hated Sarah. A restraining order had kept him away, but then he'd moved out of state. That order didn't apply here.

Sighing softly, and leaning her head against the door, she weighed her options. He was smaller than Jeff, smaller than Sarah too.

She didn't feel any sense of immediate danger, which was good. Rarely were her instincts wrong.

Startled, she jumped as he rapped on the door again. She moved silently away from the door, and sat with her back to it.

"Jeff, will you get that for me? It'll be easier for me not to stuff my face if I don't smell it right away," she lied, still somewhat shaken.

Jeff got up uncertainly, and hesitantly smiled at her. Then, choosing to do as she asked without question, he answered the door.

After pulling the room service cart (that Sarah had forgotten she ordered in the first place) into the room, he tugged gently on a piece of Sarah's hair to get her attention. He knew something was wrong, but he also knew that she'd tell him when she wanted to.

Sarah picked absently at the chicken and rice she'd ordered nearly an hour ago now. Her past had this extremely annoying habit of slamming into her with the force of a freight train at the worst possible moments. Jeff watched her carefully, keeping an eye out for signs that would give anything away. This was made difficult by the fact that life had taught her very well how to keep things to herself.

She could have made a fortune in poker, he thought, then smiled. Sarah arched an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything.

Sarah could feel the questioning eyes on her, and for some reason, it comforted instead of irked her. That was Jeff, always wondering about her, if she was okay. Always caring.

Suddenly frustrated with something she couldn't identify, she threw her fork down. Jeff cast her a confused look, but she shook her head before standing and slipping her feet into a pair of flip flops.

--

Sarah wandered the streets of this unfamiliar city, silent, deep in thought. Spying a bench, she sat down, absently tucking her arms into the sleeves of her shirt. It was the only dead giveaway she had, and she hated it.

Musing over the past few years in her life, and how royally fucked up some of them had been, she found herself growing angry. Angry witih her mother, with Mark Calaway and Glen Jacobs and Kevin Nash, angry with Jeff Hardy, with Amy Dumas, with Austin, with Mike, with the other nameless men she'd taken to her bed in her times of desire. But most of all, she was angry with herself.

Sarah had always been the type to deny herself what she wanted, and at times what she needed, because she liked being alone. Solitude was all she'd ever truly known, and all she could ever bring herself to rely on.

But she was tired of it. She wanted to find a guy to fall in love with, to get married to, to have babies with. Someone to spend the rest of her life teasing, sexually and otherwise.

She wanted her happily ever fucking after, for God's sake. And in her heart, she knew she deserved it.

She just doubted she'd find it.

_'You have found it, you dunce. It's sitting in your hotel room with multi-colored hair,' a soft voice in the back of her head whispered._

Yes, she had found what she wanted needed and desired in Jeff Hardy. But she had this sick, sinking feeling that fate was about to rip him away from her, and this time in a way that might truly be forever.

She was right. More right than she could possibly have ever guessed.


	10. I'll Catch You

**I'm so sorry! Argh, I was just getting my life together and everything and finding time for writing when my boyfriend went into detox and then rehab. Obviously, interwebs took backseat to real life. It's sort of calming down. (Not really, I just happen to FINALLY have a night to myself, so I'm going to do a bunch of writing tonight.)**

**Oh and I turned 20 in July and I'm moping because I'm not a teenager anymore. **

--

Jeff jumped as the hotel room door came flying open, a determined Sarah striding in.

"You never got the chance to answer my question. Are we an us? Or is this just something that'll happen for a few weeks before life gets in the way? Another memory I'll have to look back on in a few years and obsess over what might have happened if I'd quit being such a pussy and genuinely pushed for it was I want?" she blurted out, before biting down on her lower lip. Jeff just stared at her, completely bewildered.

"I mean come on! We're both old enough to quit fucking playing these stupid games and lay everything out there. I know I've got a temper, and I'm insecure, and I can be super needy, and annoying, and clingy and that you having a job that includes you being gone so much will be really hard. And yeah, we live in different states, and I can't exactly up and move to where you live, nor do I think I'd want to right now. But I also know that this is something we've both really wanted, for years. And I know we'll both regret it if we don't at least give this a real chance."

Absently rubbing her temples, Sarah began to pace, Jeff watching in silence. He smiled to himself, knowing she wouldn't even notice. He'd let her talk, even though he already knew his answer was yes. He understood that this was something she needed to say.

"And I mean a **real** chance. Not some half-assed, pretending to be real bullshit that'll lead to more headaches than happiness. I want to forget the past, and start actually looking forward to the future. I want to start.. god, preparing for an eventuality that involves wedding bells and a big belly full of baby. I want to fall in love. Completely in love. With vulnerability, and needing someone. Totally giving myself to another person, including all my flaws and scars. I want fights that make us both cry, and make ups that make us cry too, but for different reasons.

Are you the person that I can have this with? If I offer all of me to you, do I get all of you? Will you meet me half-way and make this real, or is this something I'd be better off wondering about when I'm 35? Because if not, I need to know now, so I can grow up and let go of this fantasy. Because even if it's not with you, I still want all of this."

Running a hand through her hair, she slowly collapsed onto the floor, her back pressed against a wall. She drew her knees up to her chest, her feet apart. Resting the lower half of her face against her thighs, when she looked up at him, all he could see were her eyes. They narrowed.

"I hate when you smile at me like that. It's one of those smiles that say 'god you're being awfully silly,' but I don't think I am."

"I don't think you are either. Dramatic maybe, but never silly," Jeff interrupted, smiling more broadly at her. He slid off the bed, then ventured to the other side of the room on his knees and mimicked her stance, though with his feet together and planted between hers. She drew her chin up, resting it on her knees, and smiled a little half-smile at him. He reached over and took her hand, gently interlocking their fingers.

"I don't think you're bein' silly at all. I think you're being honest, which is never a bad thing. And you're damn lucky I know how unusual this was for you, and how hard it must have been. If I didn't, I'd p'robly let you wonder about it for a few hours, then answer. But since I know that would upset you, I'll just tell you now. Yes.

I can't promise that we'll see that future with marriage and kids, because I'm not a fortune teller or whatever. But I can promise that if we do this, I'll put just as much in as you. Always."

He gently drew her into his arms before laying a kiss on the top of her head. He smirked to himself as he felt Sarah fiddling with the buttons on his pants.

"So just how much of a chance do you think we have?" she asked, popping the button on his pants.

"Oh I'd say just as much of a chance as anyone else, maybe a little bit more," he answered, sliding his hands up her shirt and rubbing his thumbs over her stomach.

"Sounds good to me," she said, before leaning in and kissing him, laughing softly against his lips.

--

They lay together in a naked, sweaty two person pile on the floor, a blanket tossed over them. She drew lazy circles on his abdomen, he tapped his fingers along her ribcage.

"Where do we go from here?" she asked, snuggling closer to him.

"Well, I guess for starters, we actually exchange phone numbers before taking off tomorrow or the next day, or whenever it is we have to leave. From there, we just try to fit each other in as much as we can, and hope for the best," he answered, wrapping his arms around her protectively.

"Okay then."

**(dun dun dun, next chapter will jump ahead a few months.)**


	11. We Were Never Meant For Do Or Die

**Sup people? I've promised myself from now on, I'll do everything in my power to find time for one chapter per story every week, but I break a lot of promises to myself, so I wouldn't hold your breath. Sorry. I've got to say though, I admire your patience. I'm even just now getting new followers. (The hell?)**

**This is a story I started when I was very young. The first half was written in.. May, 2003. That means I was getting ready to turn 15, I think. As much as I love it, and the characters, I really think it's time I moved onto something else, so this is priority to me in terms of finishing. After this, I'm going to re-start Paralyzer and put my energy into that. I'm not going to completely nix the chance of another Jeff/Sarah, but it's very unlikely.**

--

October 27, 2007.

Sarah's hips swayed in time to the music playing in the background as she stirred the pot full of alfredo sauce. Jeff watched silently from the doorway, aware that his girlfriend had absolutely no clue he was standing there. It'd been over two years since that night in the hotel room, and a few months since he'd been granted keys to her new house in North Carolina, but she was still the most stunning sight he'd ever seen. She still hadn't cut her hair, and the ends of it curled just below her buttcheeks. He had planned tonight perfectly, arriving early, sneaking in and surprising her with a marriage proposal, but things had gone off course. A single phone call had changed everything, and the single mistake he'd made had come back to bite him in the ass.

Taking a silent step backwards, deeper into the shadows that were hiding him, he allowed himself to be transported back three months. Sarah had just moved out to be closer to him when he was home. The first night he'd been there, they both had planned on breaking all sorts of surfaces in, but instead there had been a fight.

_"What the hell are you talking about Jeff? I moved 1500 fucking miles for you. What more do you want out of me?" she cried, tears pooling in her eyes._

_Jeff wasn't even sure what he was upset about. All he knew is suddenly, his long-distance girlfriend wasn't so long-distance anymore, which meant that there'd be more demands on his minimal free time. After that his thoughts had spiraled down as far as possible, even though logically he knew it to all be untrue. Sarah had never been clingy or needy, so why anything would change now, he didn't know._

_"I don't know, honey. Maybe quit calling me constantly, asking me where I am, what I'm doing, when I'm coming over," he yelled, the back of his mind recognizing that this was an unfair and untrue accusation._

_She stared at him in disbelief as the first tear slid down her cheek. It'd been a long time since she'd worried about crying in front of him, but those old insecurities came flying back, and she quickly wiped it away and fought to get her emotions under control._

_"I only called you once, Jeff. Once. And all I asked was whether you were going to have a few minutes sometime this weekend so I could show you the house. I'm sorry if I came on too strong for you. I think you should leave now," she said, her voice soft, her head down. She walked to the door, held it open, and looked at him. The emptiness in her eyes broke Jeff's heart as it suddenly hit him how completely irrational he was being._

_"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. Please don't make me leave," he pleaded as he walked toward her, and the door. He reached up to wipe away another stray tear that had made its way out, and she pulled her head away. That was enough for him to realize it was time for him to go. When she calmed down, IF she calmed down, she'd call and ask if he was ready to talk. This wasn't their first fight, but he was willing to bet that it was their worst, and he was scared that the phone call would never come._

Jeff still wasn't really too sure about what happened after that. He knew he'd gone to a bar and gotten drunk as quickly as possible, but after walking through the bar doors, it was all blurry. Up until he woke up the next day, with another woman in his bed. Naked. He could recall enough to remember that this young blonde wasn't usually the type for one night stands, but he had charmed her into it, after much effort. Her name had been Miranda.

They'd agreed that they'd both made mistakes. She had a fiancee to go home to. Jeff gave her his number, in case of emergencies, and hadn't heard from her since then. Sarah had not called, much as he was expecting, but instead had showed up at his door. No longer angry, but cold, she handed him keys and walked away after telling him that if he could possibly find time in his ridiculously busy weekend off, he was welcome to look around the house. She most likely wasn't going to be there, but told him to make himself at home. She'd surprised him by waiting for him, in bed. Things had gone back to normal.

Until earlier today. Frantic, Miranda had called him, talking so fast that Jeff couldn't understand her. Until he caught one single word. "Pregnant." She was pregnant, and the man she'd been due to marry had undergone chemotherapy as a teenager and had therefore been rendered sterile. Alone and terrified, she'd called him, the only person she could think of.

Holding his breath, he snuck up behind Sarah and pulled her into his arms. She let out a startled gasp, but then turned and nuzzled his neck. He held onto her as long as possible, knowing in the depths of his soul that this was his last opportunity. Nothing would be the same. He'd be lucky if she ever even talked to him again.

He stroked the hair away from her face, then kissed her softly, praying for the strength to make it through this. He pulled the ring he'd bought to propose with out, and opened it.

"I was going to ask you to marry me tonight, but things have changed. I'm still going to give you the ring, but I imagine it'll have an entirely different meaning. I ask you, as the man you love, to take this ring and keep it as a promise ring," Jeff said, his voice cracking. Sarah looked weary, and worried.

"Well, I guess that depends on what exactly you're promising me," she answered, her voice hesitant.

"I promise you that I'm more sorry than you'll ever know for what I did," he whispered. By now, Sarah looked terrified.

"God Jeff, what did you do?" she demanded, her worry sharpening into fear and ripping into him like nothing ever had.

"I got somebody else pregnant."


	12. My Only Love

**This is THE final chapter. I know, I know, it's a horrible, rushed ending, but I just can't do this story anymore. It's got too many ties to a past I've tried with all my heart to forget. Again, not going to completely kill the possibility of a third story, continuing on from here, but it's most likely not going to happen.**

**There are going to be a few things left unresolved, because I'm a big believer in stories being real, and believeable, and only on TV are things ever completely wrapped up; all the loose ends tied in a pretty little bow.**

--

April 20, 2010.

Standing on a chair, hanging streamers from the ceiling, Sarah irritatedly blew a strand of hair out of her face. While she understood that today was a very big day, she didn't understand why in the hell she had to throw a huge party for a kid that wouldn't even remember it. After all, she was only 2.

Jumping down to answer the phone that had begun to ring, Sarah pondered the course her life had taken. Now a single mother to a lovely baby girl, she thanked God for the inheritance that enabled her to, for the most part, not have to work. That night, all that time ago, she'd had every intention of telling Jeff he was going to be a father. However, he told her first, and the baby he'd been talking about had not been hers. It was someone else's, although both children had been conceived the same weekend.

She'd been kept up to date on Jeff's other child, a little boy, through Glen and Mark, who had no clue she was carrying a baby with the same father. She had found out that the baby had a heart condition, and had to be delivered early to undergo surgery, and her heart had ached for him. Thankfully, all had gone well, and from what she'd heard, he was now a happy, healthy two year old, though perhaps a little behind other kids his age.

Glancing at the caller ID, her heart stopped. It was Jeff. Nobody but Glen, Mark, and Kevin were supposed to have this number. Fighting the anger rising in her, she clicked the on button.

"Hello?" she asked, convinced her voice was going to give away all the secrets she'd fought her ass off to keep. She tugged absently at the chain around her neck, fiddling with the ring that one day she intended to give to her daughter.

"Hey. I know you've done everything in your power to stay away from me, and I understand and apologize for begging this number off one of the guys. I just need to know if you've still got that ring I gave you," he said. His voice ringing in her ears knocked her so far off balance, she sat down on the floor.

"Uh.. well, yeah, I do. Why? You gonna marry someone else and want to give it to her?" she inquired, trying to keep her voice light but failing. Despite everything, the thought of him marrying someone else drove an icicle through her heart. Jeff chuckled.

"Of course not, I'm still waiting on the day you forgive me and come back. I was just wondering because I'd like to give it to my daughter. Of course.. assuming I ever have one," Jeff answered. Sarah felt panic swirling around her. _He knows!_ her mind screamed at her. But how could he? Nobody from her old life knew.

"Um.. well.. uh," she stammered, her heart racing in terror. She was positive he knew and was giving her the opportunity to come clean, no questions asked, no hard feelings.

"Glen told me, hon. Or at least, told me what he suspected. I found out on my own. You went home, like I knew you would," Jeff told her, his voice quiet and serious, but not angry.

"That's not creepy at all," Sarah shot back sarcastically, grateful beyond belief for the excuse to embrace anger.

"And you know that isn't what I meant, Sarah. Miranda and I have never been together, and after her fiancee took her back, I've been a very minimal part of Jaxx's life. I wasn't snooping because I seriously believed you'd had my child and kept it from me. I was hoping for a chance to say I was sorry and put my ghosts, and maybe yours, to rest. But I saw her, Sarah. She's beautiful. She looks just like you," Jeff said, his voice warming as he spoke of the little girl he'd seen only briefly. Sarah cleared her throat, trying to get the tears to go away.

"No.. no, she doesn't. She's got your eyes. And your free spirit, really," Sarah said, her anger slipping away.

"Well, that's good to know. Can I meet her? Please? I know you don't forgive me, but she's my daughter," he begged.

"We don't need you," Sarah mumbled, knowing Jeff would call her bullshit.

"You were the one who told me how much any little girl needs her daddy, and how much the thought of any child of yours growing up without theirs broke your heart. I know better. I'm not asking you to run into my arms and forgive me, all I'm asking is that I get to see my little girl grow up. Please, Sarah?" Jeff pleaded one last time. He heard a soft sniffle, then a sigh.

"Jeffrey, I forgave you a long time ago. Holly's down for her nap right now, but today's her birthday. The party's at four, and it's probably just going to be her and me. You can swing by, I suppose. I mean, don't worry about a present or anything, she's got more than I know what to do with, but you can come over," Sarah gave in.

"Well.. can I stop by now? We can talk, maybe? There are things I've been needing to say, and I think it's the same for you," Jeff asked. His only answer was silence.

"How'd Glen know?" she asked, her voice tired.

"You didn't get the phone turned off one night. He heard her crying 'Mama' in the background," Jeff explained. Sarah remembered that night. Holly had been sick as a dog, running a fever and miserable when Glen had called. She'd ushered him off the phone as quickly as possible. She supposed in her rush, it was entirely possible, and even probable, that she hadn't gotten the phone disconnected. She sighed again.

"How soon can you be here?"

--

Fifteen minutes later, Jeff walked up the steps it had all began, and pressed the doorbell. Sarah answered the door with a tired looking little girl on her hip. As he stared into his own eyes, he felt his entire world shift.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hey. Holly, honey, this is your daddy," Sarah told her daughter, brushing a curl away from Holly's face. Holly looked at her mother, glanced at Jeff, then looked back at Sarah.

"Mama, what's a daddy?" the little girl asked, crinkling her nose in confusion. Unable to help himself, Jeff beamed, recognizing Matt's expression. Sarah sent him a secretive smile, then turned her attention back to her daughter.

"Well, do you remember when we went birthday shopping? And you saw that little boy who was walking with a man and a woman? And you asked me who the man was?" Sarah patiently walked through the explanation. Holly nodded, excitement beginning to grow on her face.

"I told you it was his daddy, but I never really told you what a daddy is. A daddy is like a mommy, only instead of being a girl, he's a boy," Sarah hoped Holly understood, because she didn't know how else to explain it. Holly looked thoughtful, apparently mulling it over.

"How come I never had a daddy 'fore?" she asked. Jeff felt dread turn his stomach to lead, fearing how Sarah would answer that.

"Oh. Well baby, it's because Mama did a bad thing. You see, a long long time ago, when you were just this little thing growing in my belly, Mama and Daddy got into a fight. Afterwards, Mama ran as far away as she could get. But I never told him about you. Honey, he hasn't been around because he didn't know, so don't feel sad. And if you feel mad about it, be mad at Mama, because it was my fault," Sarah answered, far more honestly than he had expected. Holly turned her eyes to Jeff, who was still standing on the porch with his hands behind his back, waiting for everything to come to a conclusion. After about half a minute of a stare down from the two year old, Jeff produced a present from behind his back and held it out.

"Happy birthday beautiful," he said, still somewhat unsure. Then he saw her eyes light up, and pudgy little hands reach toward the box.

"Tank you Daddy!" Holly exclaimed, wiggling in her mother's arms. Sarah smiled, an odd mingle of happiness and sadness in her eyes, and put her daughter on the floor. Opening the door wider, she stepped back and let Jeff in.


End file.
